#I SWEAR I ACTUALLY HAVE LIKE. SMARTER THOUGHTS ON THIS BUT LIKE. ITS ALL ABOUT THE EMOTION ANYWAY THANK UUU
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timeisacephalopod · 1 year ago
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The type of Christian who asks atheists how they don't like, murder people on the reg are so funny to me because they seem to think their religion makes them the Peak of Morality when statements like "if you don't believe in God how comes you don't do X thing" all but outright state they have no idea why shit like murder and rape is bad except that God doesn't like it lmao. Like way to admit you have no intrinsic sense of morality and need to be afraid of a higher power to be a decent person, but I promise if you're not a piece of shit it's actually very natural not to want to do heinous evil shit all the time potential punishment from a higher power or not 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️
#winters ramblings#seriously its SO funny when that happens because every time its like ??? the FUCK kind of thoughts do you have#to ask HOW i resist doing evil shit all the time because i dont fear god because i dont believe in God??#what kind of fucked up person do you haveto be to only resist killing people because of fear of a higher power??#these are people to avoid because typically they also come with the issue of using their religion to make any action they want#perfectly Good and Moral because GOD said it its in the BIBLE whether thats true or not and like bible or no#if you have no intrinsic sense of morality i dont want to hear about atheist morality from you lmao#not that athiests lack issues i swear to god white dudes who evangelize atheism like its their new religion#have WILDLY missed the point and often suffer the same problem as the aforementioned Christians#wherein the onky thing thats ever given them any kind of pushback is the church so they decide RELIGION is horrible and bad as a whole#which isnt true religion can be a perfectly lovely amazing thing for people but that brand of atheist#doesnt seem to understand that people turned away from the church because of wide spread abuse and discrimination not because#believing in god makes you literally mentally ill like some of these fuckos act like. abelist AND shite to religious folks in one fowl swoop#so you know atheists have problems too but like they arent making laws in their beliefs images across the world so you know#temper the criticism with how influential the group actually is although richard dawkins types DID get a lot of space to spew their idiocy#like dawkims if you think youre SOOOO much smarter than christians how come you have ALL the same misogyny problems??#youre not that smart and logical if youve decided a whole kind of person is inherently less than you buddy. in fact thats very Christian#of him actually. funny when that happens but again if you dont actually know WHY something is a problem#its very easy to say Thats Bad and then literally do the exact same thing you just condemned because when YOU do it its no longer bad#because its got YOUR flavor of fucked up morality on it now instead of being like hmm maybe Christianity isnt a problem#because it EXISTS but because a lot of people use their religion as a pointed barb to discriminate against huge swaths of people#and often the intolerance becomes a legal issue when Christians and other religious majorities shove through laws based on EXCLUSIVELY their#religions and opinions and that doesnt mean religion should be dismantled it means we ahould tell religious folk who would know what#morality was if it fucked them up the ass to shut up and figure out what morality is outside of rekigion before they start legislating about#it and whatnot. also i wish extreme opinions werent ALL the news focused on exclusively on the political right#can we platform some NORMAL well adjusted christians who are god loving AND not a bunch of wingnuts#who are two steps away from arguing thou shall not kill only applies to people they LIKE because they dont seem to understand#maybe murder is bad when EVERYONE does it not just The Bad People??!?!
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darlingbabyboo · 5 months ago
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Could you please make a part 3 of tr x bimbo reader with Hanma, Souya and chifuyu, please?? Have a great day or night <333
Note: I love this request! I thought ppl wouldn't like bimbo reader and I'm so happy that ppl are receiving it well :) These are such good characters too. I added a few people since I got to this late (also Hanma's is a little nsfw). Part 1 (Draken, Takemichi, Mitsuya, Baji, Smiley, Mucho) Part 2 (Kazutora, Izana, Bonten! Mikey)
"You're my angelic slut!"
♡ Even more Tokyo Revengers and their bimbo gfs ♡
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Hanma Shuji
Oh my god I thought Smiley would be bad but this man would be a menace with a bimbo!gf
He lies to you on a daily basis bcs he knows that you'll believe him
He will be saying shit like 'recent studies show 🤓☝️' completely out of his ass bcs he loves the look you give him
Your bright eyes look to him, captivated with all the lies that he's feeding you
He thinks that your stupidity is hot af and the stupider you get the harder he is
Do not trust this man to help you shop bcs he will be giving you some floss as a top and and lacey underwear bottoms okay
And for my ladies who are bimbos but still like to cover up don't worry he'll give you the flashiest shit ever that probably says property of Hanma on the back
He loves you okay but be wary around this boy
"Ow babe, you know that hurts."
You eyes widen in horror, ripping your hands away from tracing the ink on his hands, "really?" You whisper.
He nods, sagely with his fake wisdom, "yeah, every few months the pain from tattoo comes back, when you touch me it hurts like a bitch."
"Oh, I- baby I didn't know!" You tear up, hating the thought of hurting Shu in any way possible, "I swear I didn't mean to hurt you!"
He nods, pulling you into his chest to calm your sniffles, "it's okay babe, you didn't know." He pretends to think, "and there might be a way to help me..."
You look at him, wide eyes looking to him and nod eagerly.
"Well... kisses always work."
"And it won't cause you pain?"
"None at all pretty girl."
"Okay!" You smile, peppering kisses on his hands, before cupping his face and pressing your lips against. He deepens the kiss, moving you so you're straddling his lap and grinding against his growing bulge.
He sure got lucky with you, huh?
Chifuyu Matsuno
He's so flustered at the sight of you
He's pretty confident in himself but he never actually expected to get a gf
Since you're his first one he kinda has no idea what to do with you
He rly doesn't want to mess things up
He doesn't even register the fact that you're 'slutty' bcs all he knows is that you're the hottest person that he's ever met in his life and he has absolutely no idea how to function without you
He worries so much but he's such a 10/10 boyfriend
Gets most of his ideas from manga but they usually get messed up because you would not get a clue if it walked up to you and gave you its number
Chifuyu will say something like, 'my heart is forever yours' and you're about call an ambulance bcs you think he's having a heart attack
Pray for him he's doing his best 🙏🏾
Certified good boi so he does his best to make you smarter but my mans is not God
He knows that you're a lost cause but he's gonna keep trying fr bcs he loves you
But he has a tendency to get distracted...
"And if 4 plus 4 is 8 and 4 times 4 is 16 then 4 squared is..." He watches you bite your lip and turn your wide eyes to him, hoping that he'll fill in the blanks.
He sighs, "baby, you're not gonna learn anything if I keep helping you."
"But 'fuyu!" You protest, throwing yourself across his lap, and jutting your lip out, "I don't get it without you explaining it for me!"
"That's the problem..."
Your pout deepens and you suddenly sit up straight. He blushes when you place your hands on the side of his face.
"I don't get it 'fuyu, more kisses pls."
He should refuse because he loves you more than the world itself but he knows that you're jackshit at math. His eyes look down at your puckered lips and he folds, moving you gently and pinning you to the bed.
When the both of you lock lips he knows nothing is going to get done today.
Souya (Angry) Kawata
We got another flustered boy here
It's made even worse bcs he was not the one who confessed to you
Smiley told you bcs he got sick of his constant ranting about how beautiful and kind and pretty you were
Angry hates his brother and loves him for it bcs you embraced him in a hug that got him feeling high for days
He worships you completely
Your slutty outfits
Perfect queen 🥰🥰🥰
He making homemade food for you for breakfast lunch and dinner
Compliments you all the time bcs that's what you deserve
Can you tell I have a favourite
He is in love with you so much and will not tolerate any sort of slander towards you
You best hope that someone doesn't call you stupid bcs they will be jumped by the entire fourth division he is not fucking around when it comes to you
He doesn't even take that shit when it comes to his brother
No one will talk bad about you under his watch
"Damn, your girl dumb as hell."
He looks to you. As of now, you're jumping up into the trees, attempting to catch a cat that got stuck up there from yesterday's storm. It's a noble attempt, if not a bit ruined due to the fact that you're ignoring the ladder of branches at the side of the tree that would help you get to the cat.
That wouldn't even be so bad if you weren't also neglecting to ask one of the neighbor's for a ladder, especially the one who has a ladder leaning against their front door.
He turns back to Smiley, scowling at the insult, "don't talk about her like that." Hands curling into fists, no matter what you do he can't stand the thought of you being disrespected.
Smiley holds his hand up, not in the mood to get his faced bashed, "fine... but you should really go help her."
He looks back to you, seeing that you've now started to meow to the cat, trying to convince it to come down by itself.
He can't stop the smile creeping up.
He's so in love with you.
Ran Haitani
You would assume that he'd be a menace but he's surprisingly sweet
Most people assume that he's with you bcs he wanted some arm candy but he's really just in love with you
Rindou is the unfortunate witness to how obsessed Ran is about you
When Ran sees you're being a dumbass all he does is smile and do his best to answer the question
He loves when his girl starts asking him how he can tell if it's AM or PM
He thinks you're too adorable
His love is not an act okay
He lives sleeps and breathes you
Half the words out of his mouth have to do with you bcs he thinks you're just so amazing
Rindou stops himself from screaming when he sees Ran leaning against the kitchen counter. The last time he caught Ran awake in the middle of the night the other had almost skinned him alive.
A Ran that just woke up from a nap was not a good Ran.
He relaxes when he sees you move to Ran's side, offering him some hot chocolate. Ran would never expose you to his violent side. "Thank you angel," He says as he accepts the drink, taking a sip and placing his arm around your waist.
"Ran..." You start, and Rindou can't wait for whatever bullshit you're going to spew this time.
"Yeah angel?"
"Why does your tattoo keep changing?"
He raises an eyebrow and looks down at his arm. Experimentally, he flexes it.
"It happened again!" You exclaim as his muscles tense, art rippling with the muscle.
Rindou has no idea how he deals with you sometimes. You're sweet, you're just... something else.
Ran doesn't react to the strange question, only offering a half-hearted shrug. He runs a hand through his hair, "I think it's because my skin stretches as I flex or something... and the tattoo is on my skin so it's affected too." He watches you, wondering if the answer is satisfactory.
You beam at the response and curl into him, placing your head on his shoulder. He presses a soft kiss to the crown of your head.
Rindou slinks back upstairs and tries not to throw up. He hates being around you two.
Hakkai Shiba
It's a miracle how Hakkai even started to talk to you
It was a struggle for everyone involved
Everyday Yuzuha and Mitsuya were considering jumping off a window more and more bcs every interactions you had went like this
'How are you Hakkai!'
'...'
'That's nice to hear! My day went well too, are you going to the festival tomorrow?'
'...'
Bitch is like this on the outside 😐
On the inside he's 🥰😍😘💕💓❤️
And Mitsuya and Yuzuha have to listen on like 🙃
Yeah Hakkai she is beautiful and her dress was rly nice today and she's the kindest girl in the world why don't you tell her that
His confession was so awkward but my man's had to do smth bcs he's not the only one who wants you
"H-hey," He calls your name, wincing when you direct your eyes to him. His stomach twists, he needs to do this he needs to do this.
You beam at him, "Hakkai! What's up? You don't usually talk to me like this."
Yeah, he doesn't. He's completely out of his comfort zone here. He really should have asked Taka-chan to be here to support him. He looks down to avoid making eye contact but is met with your plump thighs.
He swallows.
"A-are you going to the f-festival with Akihiko?"
You tilt your head, "no, why would you think that? Me and him are just friends!"
Akihiko has not been subtle about about talking about how attractive he's found you and how much he would love to have you as your girlfriend. This includes wrapping his arms around your waist and calling you 'wifey'.
"He flirts sometimes," You laugh, "but we're just friends."
Sure, and he just wants to kill him.
"Wouldyouliketogowithme?" He blurts out, flinching when everything is out. He watches your eyes open wide, mouth falling open. He's so embarrassed, of course this wouldn't work he should have kept his mouth shut-
"Of course I wanna go Hakkai!" He catches you as you jump up to wrap your arms around his neck. His face turns even redder when you smack a kiss on his cheek. "I'd love to!"
"C-cool." He says knowing that the this moment will be replaying in his head on the walk home.
Seishu (Inupi) Inui
Y'all are complete opposites bcs while he's off being brooding you're being your bright and sunny self giving a hug to anyone who asks
Koko wonders everyday how you two started dating but love is love
You two have the best fashion tips for each other, truly a couple that uplifts each other <333
My man treats you like you're not the dumbest bitch on Planet Earth
Inui is a feminist (when he threatened Yuzuha he did that for the women's rights movement okay)
So he knows that you have great value even if you're not smart in a conventional sense
He will pound anyone into the pavement if someone starts to act a fool okay
Inui brings knives to fist fights if you don't think he'll pull out a glock for the person he's completely obsessed with you're insane
"Inui, how do we know that we're on Earth?" You question, head tilting to the side, looking to him waiting for an answer.
He doesn't sigh, he knows you're genuine about this and he would hate to embarrass you. He raises an eyebrow for clarification.
"I mean- how do we know we're not on Mars?" You eyes bug out, "what if we've been on Venus all along and we don't even know it!"
He hums but stops when someone snickers beside them. He tenses, already reaching in his pocket. "You got something you want to say?" He snarls.
The guy, some dumb lackey, smirks, "your bitch know how stupid she is?" He looks over to you and checks you out not-so subtly, "good thing she's hot."
He pulls out the knife and presses it against the other's neck. "At first I was going to hurt you but now I'm going to fucking kill you." Who cares about the rules about in-fighting, no one's going to talk to you like that and get away with it.
"Inui..." You ask innocently, watching the two with concern.
"Look away darling, okay, I gotta deal with this piece of shit."
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solbaby7 · 6 months ago
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Forbidden Fruit
pairing: cassian x rhysand’s sister!reader
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warnings: sneaking around, suggestive language, swearing, possible sexual content either way minors DNI, mutual pining, a simping Cass and a meddling Az
summary: The General Commander of the Night Court finds himself falling for the High Lords precious little sister.
Cassian knew better.
He was smarter than this—had better self-control and discipline than hundreds of thousands of men combined but all of that crumbles to ash the second you come prancing past in those tight pants. The same ones that sat low on your hips paired with the skin tight sleeveless top that showed off the wink of your navel and the dangling piercing that resided there. “Your brother know about that?”
“Oh, Commander,” His jaw clenched at the title, the sing-song lilt of your voice and the bedroom eyes that raked down the giant length of his form. Never in his life had he ever felt so anxious under a woman’s gaze and he fights the urge to shift his weight from foot to foot. “You’d be positively baffled by the things my brother doesn’t know about.”
It was a taunt; perfectly manicured nails plucking at a string that was already seconds away from snapping. Even then, Cassian can’t seem to help himself and like a small animal with little sense of self-preservation—he’s caught in your trap. “Like what?” He clears his throat, the words coming out too soft, too desperate and yet he can’t find it in him to be embarrassed when you’re looking at him like that.
Dark lashes frame pretty eyes that trail down the length of his body, a feline smile on full lips. “I really wish I could say, General,” Never had his body reacted to his title in such a way; skin burning like a flame when it came from you, dark hair hanging over your shoulders and he wills his knees not to buckle when you stalk closer. A manicured finger just barely grazes the length of his bicep and he’s already fighting the growing erection beneath his breeches. “But, I just can’t be sure you’ll keep your mouth shut.”
“I won’t say anything.”
You raise a brow, head quirking to the side and you’re unabashedly aware of the fact that this wing of the house was utterly bare save for you and Cass. “I’m throwing a little party tomorrow,” His surprise is evident; as witty and seductive as you may be, it was common knowledge how responsible you were. The pressures of perfection always weighed heavier on a woman and you handled it well. “Come if you’d like but only you.”
“Where?”
There’s a mischievous glint in your eye, fingers toying with the hilt of the sword hung at his hip. “Can’t say—you’ll just have to find me.”
He’s stuck in place when you saunter off, hips swishing from side to side until you disappeared behind closed doors at the end of the hall. Cassian huffed out a shaky breath, a hand raking through slightly overgrown strands as he willed his heart to return to its normal rhythm but he was already a goner. Mind utterly consumed in all things you from the shimmering pin tucked in your hair or the shiny sheen glossing over pouty lips.
For twenty-four hours he’d obsessed over the smell of your soap until his focus was shifted to the breathy little grunts you offer when sparring in the ring the following morning. “You’re getting sloppy.”
“Because,” You huff, breathing labored, sweat dripping down your back and you’d long since tied your hair in a knot at the top of your head. “I’m tired and can’t stop thinking about food.” You get in a few good jabs but the exhaustion sets in much quicker for you than it did the Illyrian soldier.
The idea that sets into his mind is disgraceful; pupils dilating at the very thought and he nearly moans out loud when you bend over to grab your canteen. Stretchy shorts hug tight around the curve of your ass and Cass is already diving head first into filthy fantasies of you bent over just like that with his face shoved between your thighs. It feels so real his mouth actually waters, throat bobbing with a gulp and his hands clench into tight fists.
It's wrong.
He couldn't—shouldn't—be thinking such thoughts but it's like you're doing it on purpose. Body elongated and spine dipping when tugging off the sweat-soaked training top. Only left in a sports bra and the holsters that wrap along your wrist and forearm, holding two swords so sharp you could probably slice his head from his shoulders with the right amount of intent. Yet, for some reason it doesn't deter him; the lethality of you that was always kept contained like some secret weapon just waiting for their moment.
The shirt hits the floor with a wet shlop and before Cassian can form words, Azriel is brushing past him with a knowing glance. "We'll feed you after you fight me," Cassian hates the way his nose scrunches in jealousy, lip twitching to curve into a snarl at the easy banter that arises between the two of you. Azriel stalks you like prey, sharp eyes raking up the length of skin you have bared—even if he does do it significantly more subtle than Cass.
You offer a breathy laugh, throat moving over the large gulps of water before falling into stance. Its casual, body loose from the thorough warm-up and Cass feels his blood rush at the mischievous smirk growing in the corner of your mouth, eyes darting to the shadows beginning to circle you. "Shouldn't take too long," Confidence dripped off your tongue like hot honey. "If you play fair, that is."
Az slowly tilts his head to the side, acutely aware of the rage radiating off his brother from the edge of the ring. It doesn't deter him in the slightest, shoulders rolling and wings tucking in preparation as a breeze shifted through his hair. "What's the fun in that?"
It's annoyingly fluid and Cassian just can't quell the frustration; lips scowled in a sneer the closer you and Azriel got. It should've been him with his hands touching your skin; should be him making you grunt and snap out snarky remarks whenever you'd lost the upper hand. The General's jaw clenches, teeth gritting when Az slams you down on the mat, holding down your arms as you struggle beneath such weight. "That's fine," Azriel jokes, sun beating down on golden skin, shining across amber irises and the brilliance is nearly overwhelming—nearly. "I like 'em squirmy."
It happens so fast that even the shadows don't have time to react when a whip of endless darkness wraps around the spymasters neck and snatches him back. The element of surprise works in your favor, offering enough time to get back on your feet and gain some distance despite the fact that he recovers unnervingly quick, gaze darkening under the challenge. "What? I thought we were having fun, Azzy?" A innocent little pout completely contridicts the growing throb of power that hums off your frame. "Playing around."
The sharp sting of metal unsheathing and the blades attached to your forearms are unfastened, the hilt twisting with practiced ease as you adjusted your grip.
You play the clueless female well—too well.
Maybe that’s why Azriel underestimates the true extent of your focus; too trained on the rapid rising and falling of your chest, the way your left leg trembles slightly with exhaustion and he’s completely blindsided by the way you adjust your magic to him. The deep abyss of darkness that usually comes when calling your power shifts, the shade adapting to that of Azriel’s shadows until there was no way to tell where he started and you ended.
You take the opening, mentally patting yourself on the back for the look of genuine shock that smears its way across Azriel’s face and he’s on the ground in seconds. Your knees dig into the juncture of flesh in his biceps, applying pressure to vital nerves as you hover over his chest. “Alright, alright,” He taps at the mat twice, sweat lacing his brow and fingers going numb. “You win.”
With a deep exhale, you flop to the side and sprawl flat out on the mat, limbs boneless as your head lazily turns to face a brooding Cassian. “Feed me. The Heiress of your Court demands it.” Maybe it was the linger aftershocks of jealousy that leads Cass to saunter over and hoist you over his shoulder. It’s effortless and the surprised yelp that strangled free is slightly more embarrassing that being manhandled. “Cassian,” You grunt, bunching your hands in the durable material of his leathers to brace yourself. “Put me down, right now!”
His amusement rumbles against your belly, one large hand splayed high on the back of your thigh. “I’m only doing as my Heiress asks.”
A flush warms your cheeks, no longer able to blame it on the sun when the cool air of the house shifts over your skin. “Seriously, put me down. You stink.”
“You don’t smell much better but I was practicing self-control and keeping it an inside thought.”
Your hand smacks on his back in retaliation, huffy swears echoing throughout the halls but Cassian continues as if you hadn’t done anything at all. Instead, he plops you into a seat at the dining table and instantly the house predicts your needs, providing a spread of food that has your mouth watering and stomach growling.
Before you can even reach for a plate, Cassian’s already washed his hands and come back to pile a plate full of your favorites, swiftly avoiding foods you didn’t enjoy as much as if it were second nature. A brow quirks playfully, form sinking into your seat comfortably. “You gonna help me shower too?”
“Only if my Heiress demands it.” His lips shift into a smirk so sinful you shift in place, fingers just barely recovering from losing your grip on your silverware.
A scoff hides your inability to form words, fork scraping against the fine china as you fill your mouth with much needed sustenance. Immediately, your shitty mood dissipates, hips wiggling in complete bliss while you indulge in garlicy breadsticks dipped in creamy pasta sauce.
“You’ve been training your powers.” Cassian mentions more so to distract himself from the little moans you let you with each bite. “I’ve never seen you manipulate them like that. Blending into Az’s shadows?”
“A girls gotta do something to fill her time.”
Golden eyes narrow in your direction, scanning the curve of your cheeks and slope of your nose. He lingers entirely too long on your mouth, pasta sauce gathering in the corner and his fingers twitch to reach over and wipe it off. “What else are you hiding under your sleeve?”
“If I told you, I’d have to kill you.” Something about the way you look at him has Cassian’s skin going hot, the pale violet of your iris turning into nothing but a thin ring as your pupils eat up the free space. “And, I’d hate to have to get rid of my favorite boy.”
“I’m your favorite?”
You’re outright teasing; taunting the brick wall of a man with nothing more than polished silver and the insinuating drag of your tongue against your fork. “You think I give invitations to secret parties to any ol’ body? Please, I have better taste than that.”
It’s instinctual. Driven by nothing more than pure Illyrian pride, his chest subconsciously puffing up with pride under the kiss of your compliment. He’s not brave enough to elaborate on it—too afraid to jumble his words and make a godsdamned fool of himself. “Where is this party anyway?”
Silverware clangs against fine china, a signal that you’ve finished your meal and the house is quick when cleaning up for you, fondly topping up your wine and providing fresh linen to dab around your mouth.
You don’t take it.
Instead, you offer up a crimson red ribbon just barely long enough to fully wrap around Cassian’s wrist. It’s smooth like silk in his grasp, the material coated in your scent and it takes every scrap of decency he has left not to shove it up against his nose. “Follow those. Once you’ve collected the last one, you’ll find me.”
“And then what?”
A sultry smirk curves at your mouth as you rise from your chair. “Then, you can have me.” His mouth goes dry, fists closing over the strip of fabric clutched between his fingers. “Have fun hunting, General.”
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jeonqkooks · 2 years ago
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jungkook #33 from the fluff list 💗 (even better if its like fboy badboy jungkook getting flustered and shy around oc hehe)
daft pretty boys | jjk
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pairing: jungkook x reader
prompt: "i can't think around you."
rating: G
word count: 0.8k
genre/warnings: classmates to .. lovers?, college au, basketball captain!jk, he's neither a fuck boy nor a bad boy he's just a cute boy <3, fluff, swearing as per uzh, i plagiarized MYSELF bc the shit mentioned here was actually taken from my final paper for a film class two years ago lmaooooooo
as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡
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If there's one thing that Jungkook absolutely despises, it's when people think jocks are dumb. It's a common misconception and it's downright hurtful sometimes; just because Jungkook is the basketball captain, doesn't mean that anybody has the right to assume he's got hay for brains.
However, if someone were to come up to him right now and say it to his face, he probably wouldn't disagree.
"So yeah, if they lose the memories of these relationships, I think they'd also be losing parts of themselves that make them whole, because an individual's identity is an accumulation of multiple smaller identities they have with every single intimate relationship that ultimately forms one collective identity, y'know?" you finish, and it's not until then that Jungkook comes back down to earth, realizing that he's just been staring at you this whole time. "Anyway, what do you think?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah! Same, uhm," Jungkook stammers. "I also thought about their collective relationsh- I mean, collective identity and multiple identities and-"
You purse your lips as you take in his whole demeanor, like a nervous child fumbling with his words. "Did you not watch the movie?"
He did watch the movie. In fact, Jungkook watched it three times over the weekend because that's how much he liked it. When he registered for this class - History of Popular Cinema - at the end of last semester, he was hoping that it'd be an easy elective so he could focus more on basketball and his core courses. And for the most part, this film class is easy. All he has to do is watch movies and hand in a few short essays every now and then. Piece of cake.
Then the final paper rolls around and the professor assigns everybody a partner to work with. In theory, it should still be a piece of cake, because there still isn't that much to do anyway.
So why is it so fucking hard all of a sudden?
Jungkook had never really noticed you before you became his designated collaborator for the month. Never saw you on campus, never saw you attending the games. Hell, he didn't even know your name until this final assignment.
"I watched it," he defends himself lamely.
"Okay. And?"
"It was good."
You frown, and all Jungkook can think about is how adorable that crease between your eyebrows is. How he just wants to reach across the table and smooth it over, or better yet, kiss it away.
He's fully aware of how stupid he must look, with his sweaty palms and his words falling over each other like goddamn Jenga pieces, in front of a girl that he's been obsessed with for weeks now. Jungkook doesn't normally do crushes, but the more time he spends with you to work on this lame ass paper, the more he finds his mind drifting to you even when you're not in his vicinity.
He thinks you're so pretty when you absentmindedly bite your lip whenever you're concentrating. He thinks you always smell like jasmine, and he's delighted by how your scent lingers on his own clothes after every time you meet, like he's carrying home a reminder of you. He thinks you're ten leagues smarter than him when you text him whole paragraphs detailing how postmodern filmmakers flirt with the concept of identity fragmentation through different types of cinematic manifestation as a reflection of the realistic postmodern person, because what the fuck does that even mean?
"You're not doing a very good job at convincing me you watched the movie," you say.
Jungkook groans internally - and a little externally too - as he runs a hand down his face. "I watched it, I promise," he tells you. "I watched it, and I really liked it. It made me think about a lot of deep shit that I don't normally think about."
"Uh huh," you say slowly. Your frown is still there, but now it's embedded in confusion as you try to understand his dilemma. "Then tell me about that. What was the deep shit?"
"I can't."
"Why not?"
How is he supposed to explain that every single thought he had suddenly grew legs and yeeted itself out the window the second he saw you arrive today, wearing a stunning smile and a t-shirt that says Caution: Full of Shenanigans? Not once in his entire life had Jungkook felt so no thoughts, head empty.
"Because I can't think around you," he settles on being honest. "Because I keep thinking about you when you're not here, yet when you are, I can't even think at all."
It takes a minute for his words to sink into your brain, and Jungkook watches nervously as a blush spreads across your cheeks, so rosy that he just wants to grab your face and pepper kisses all over. For the first time since he has known you, you don't know how what to say.
The sight of you, rendered speechless by him being rendered an idiot, has Jungkook blushing too. Despite the patch of bashful silence that ensues, somewhere outside the metaphorical windows of his and your minds, both your thoughts are riding off into the sunset together, holding hands.
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all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 27.05.2023]
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daenysthedreamersblog · 14 days ago
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SECRETS OF US - IV
i miss you, im sorry
i don't wanna go, think i'll make it worse
everything i know brings me back to us
i don't wanna go, we've been here before
everywhere i go leads me back to you
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masterlist // previous chapter // next chapter
summary: being around coriolanus snow was like a forest fire, intense and heated, but can quickly turn out of control with a change of wind.
pairings: modern!coriolanus snow x reader
warnings: swearing, drinking
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The temperature starts to decline, and so does whatever conversational habits had bloomed between you and Coriolanus. It isn't back to normal animosity, you had decided you wouldn't go back to typical hating him after all, but you aren't nearly as chatty as you usually have been. You blamed midterms, you blamed whatever happened that night, you blamed weak feeling slipping through the cracks confusing your thoughts and dreams. You hate that you wonder, you hate that there is an odd ache of longing for him, you hate that there is no hate no matter how hard you try to grasp at it.
Flickerman doesn't push the intimate scenes stating he's still busy figuring them out, but everything else is still business as usual, you look internally for gratitude but instead silence greets you and you are thankful for that at least as you try not to examine your feelings too closely.
You're heading to campus, stopping by the little coffee shop for a warmer drink when you see him standing in line on his phone. You pause, watching him through the window as your heart picks up its rhythm, willing, wanting him to see you.
He does. He picks his head up blue eyes meeting yours as your hand slowly rises in a small wave. The corner of his mouth ticks up as his hand mirrors yours and then you're tugging the door open to walk towards him. You think of a before, of a time you would have stuck your nose up and kept moving to avoid him, but that seemed long ago, in a different life.
"Hey," You say standing off to the side so people don't think you're cutting.
He looks down at you, "Hey."
"What are you doing?"
"Getting coffee," He motions to the barista at the register the condescending smirk on his lips.
You roll your eyes the heat in your cheeks from the wind, nothing more. "You know what I mean."
"I was heading to the library to study for my stats midterm." He responds.
"Yeah that one was a little rough." You nodded.
"Are you two done flirting with each other so we can order?" The man standing behind him bites out.
Coriolanus shoots him a look but his eyes soften when they turn back to you, "What do you want?"
"What?"
"Were you dropped on your head as a child?" He muses your hair, his hand lingering too long as it glides off of your head. "My treat." He motions to the menu, "If you tell me whats on the midterm."
You cross your arms, "No then you'll get a better grade than me."
"Exactly." He beams.
You tell him your order anyways, "I'm going to tell you everything thats not on there."
He pays for both drinks and moves to the side while they're being made. "I can work with that."
"Cheater."
He pokes your nose, "Work smarter not harder kitten." He glanced at the door, "Where were you headed?"
"Poli-sci midterm." They call his name sliding both drinks across the counter for you to take.
Coriolanus Snow smiled, more to himself, "You'll do fine." It actually sounded genuine, a tone that surprised was directed at you. Then you're walking down the sidewalk together towards campus, "Any big plans for the holidays?"
"When have you ever cared?" You scoff sipping your warm drink.
"Since your spit was almost in my mouth."
You cringe, "Gross, don't say it like that." It almost distracts you from the original question...almost. You sigh, "Probably staying here."
"Did you do something to piss your father off?" He chuckled to himself.
You glare at him, "I hate that you know so much about my family."
He only smirks deeper, "No you don't." He takes a step sideways, closer to you, his knuckle brushes against yours accidentally causing yours to twitch towards his in response. "Also, I know you go on the offensive when you're avoiding questions."
You shove him with your shoulder to break the connection, "So, what's your grand plans for the holiday Snow?" His face falls, eyes overshadowed by overwhelming grief.
"I have to go." He's off before you can stop him, before you can pull back the words that had set him off. You don't know why, it's not like you had ever cared for hurting each other's feelings, but you can't shake the look on his face, you can't shake the sympathy.
You sit outside your classroom after the test staring at old pictures on his page once again; pictures of him and Sejanus. He had been an orphan for most of his life, fostered with his cousin Tigris with various family members. Then suddenly The Plinth's had adopted him, taken him in like a second son, then Sejanus had died. You only knew part of the story, only parts you heard through other people, and now you knew he had gone to military camp for some reason after Sejanus had died.
You trace his name on the empty coffee cup you were still holding.
You're moving before you realize, before you can let reason stop you from making your way to the library. He's still there thankfully, hunched over a notebook writing things out a stray curl loose against his forehead. He brushes it back as he glances up at you.
"We have this dinner." You say coming around to stand in front of him. "My friends and I...we have this dinner and spend the holiday together." You toy with the wood on the chair avoiding looking at him. After everything, after every hurtful word and angry stare, after the party and the alley and his apartment, you should not let the words leave your mouth. "You should come." You meet his hard gaze watching his jaw tighten, "Or don't, it's up to you. You know where to find me." Then you're leaving before anything else can come from the conversation, from the invitation you left open
"You've grown soft in your old age." Clemensia shakes her head at you as you help her place plates down.
He had texted you later that night asking for the time and place of the dinner ending the conversation at that not hearing much since. "He doesn't have anyone else."
"You don't know that." She looks up at you eyes narrowing remembering your long rant regarding Livia Cardew, "Something's changed between you two."
You chuckle to hide the flush forming in your cheeks, "Did Arch tell you about my dream?"
Clemensia gasp, "No, but now I know something is definitely going on." You chew on your cheek staring down at the place setting unable to think too much on the statement. "Be careful, you two have always shared a similar...fire." She comes around the table running a soothing hand down your arm, "I don't want you to get burned by his." She drops her hand, "Is you mother devastated you're not going home?"
You're thankful for the change in subject. "Yes."
"Why don't you tell her? Tell both of them?" She goes to the kitchen grabbing the dish she had made to move it to the center of the table.
"It wouldn't do any good." There's a knock on the door cutting off any further deep dive into you familial ties. You knew your mother was upset, you knew it the minute you had turned off your phone to avoid her texts. You're not even sure how to phrase it to her, to them, how you didn't want what they wanted for you anymore. And it wouldn't do good at all, that much was true, your father would have none of your feelings, your self doubts. He wouldn't care for what you wanted at all. You greet your friends watching as they add their dishes to the table grabbing their various drinks and taking up unoccupied seats.
You can't help but glance at the door, waiting and waiting for someone you had once wished would never come. Maybe he had decided not to come after all, he never really had given you a definitive answer. You try not to let it effect you even as your head whips around at the sound of an additional knock. You glance around the room, at ever accounted body, and stand up to open the door yourself.
He stares down at you in the doorframe, "You didn't answer my message."
"I uh..." You close your eyes and open them again trying to shake the warm feeling blooming in your chest. "I turned my phone off." You allow him to step into the apartment closing the door behind him, "What did it say?"
"I asked if you needed anything while I was at the store." He sets the brown paper bag down. "I got you wine anyways." He hands you the bottle.
You trace the label, it was a favorite of yours, "Thank you." You motion to the cabinet, "I'll get us some glasses, you can sit next to me." You turn to head into the kitchen hearing various mutual friends saying hello to him, even Arachne's sly voice being cordial with him. You smiled to yourself as you opened the bottle realizing you could get used to the mingling voices. You pour it out into two glasses and walk them back towards the table.
You avoid his hand ghosting your back, avoid it guiding you into your chair. He rest it on the back of your chair strands of hair caught between fingers as his thumb twitches forward. His knee brushes against yours as you settle in; it was a small space, nothing more, yet it isn't jerked away, its heat sneaking into your thigh. Everyone eats, everyone laughs, the room filled with warmth and joy and everything a family was supposed to consist of. You steal a glance at him over the rim of your glass seeing a genuine soft smile on his lips.
"What?" He asked, catching you in the act of staring at him.
"Nothing," You shake your head chuckling to yourself.
He smirks leaning towards you, "Tell me what's so funny about my face kitten."
You take a breath, eyes fluttering around his pretty blue ones, "I'm just...thankful." He snorts pulling back, "I'm thankful for our mutual truce." Something flashes across his face, you can't read it, and then its gone as he looks away from you, only to turn back with a familiar cold expression.
"I'll add your white flag to my collection."
You laugh humorlessly, "You mean your shrine." It has always been difficult with him, always trying to one up the other, but now things seemed simple, quiet acts of joy instead of cruelty for the sake of cruelness.
The rest of the dinner is filled with casual conversation and a gentle flow of soft laughter. He seemed to be enjoying himself enough that you two are amongst the last to leave. "Thank you for dinner Clemmie." He tugs on his coat.
"Thanks for the snake," Her painted nails hold the door for the two of you. "I sleep with it every night."
He smirks, "As long as you're thinking of me."
"You're a shameless flirt Coriolanus Snow." She rolls her eyes, "Get her home safe please."
He glances at you, "Always do."
You waved goodbye to her and walk out together heading out into the chilly night. "Why didn't Arachne go home, she's always had a nice family."
"They weren't too happy when she came out a few years ago." You frowned hands stuck in your coat pockets. "They're better now, but things are still a little tense."
He shook his head, "And you? Are things tense?" Your jaw sets as you refuse to answer, he didn't need to know everything. He pushes anyways, "Oh come on I know your parents, I met them on all those little events at Academy. They adore you."
"Adore what they've made of me." You mutter.
"What do you mean?"
You shake your hair out. "Nothing. It doesn't matter."
"Is this why you're having an existential crisis on docks?" He scoffs. "You're so spoiled."
You stop on the sidewalk the door to your apartment a few meters away. "Excuse me."
He stops too heaving a breath towards the sky like he too didn't want to have this conversation, like you were always destined to fight on concrete slabs. "I just mean they've given you everything you've every wanted and you're upset about it."
"Maybe I didn't want it." You cross your arms.
"Didn't want what exactly?" He turns towards you, "A family? Money? Success no matter what?"
You grid your teeth, he made you sound so shallow. "You don't know anything about me."
"Oh yeah?" He takes a step closer, "I know your father is an important man and he wanted you to follow in his footsteps like a little puppet." Another step closer to you, "And you fucking hate that you're so good at it, that your perfect life will always be his." He looms over you, "I know you better than you know yourself."
It flies out of your mouth before you can catch it, "What's your story then? The Plinths stop feeling sorry for you and finally kicked you out?" His foot falters backwards shock crossing over his face at your harsh words, "I-I'm-I shouldn't have-!"
He takes a step back the air so much colder now, "No." He laughs, it's a cruel sound that cuts deep. "That's who you are isn't it, I knew that, always have." He stares forward, gaze empty. "Your father raised you as vicious as him, power hungry and armed to the teeth like a little viper."
"Aren't you the same?" You stare at his face while he stares at nothing. "Just as loathsome and lonely as I?"
His eyes quiver as he finally meets your gaze, "I don't need your pity."
Your eyes flicker around his angry face, "I don't pity you."
He glares down at you. "Then stop trying to be my friend, stop trying to care when we both know the only thing you care about is yourself and your shallow little life."
"That isn't true." It's a whisper, you hate the sinking feeling in your chest, and yet you had only cared about your life until...until...
"Just because I bought you some coffees, and took you to a party doesn't mean anything." He seethes, the white flag up in glorious flames around the pair of you. "You are nothing to me."
You swallow, throat dry. You will not cry in front of him of all people, so you dig your heels something familiar. "Like I care what I am to you." You spit out taking a step closer so he can soak up every hateful word. "You want to know what I truly hate? You, Snow, you." You go to turn, purse tucked tight against you. "Once this play is over I'll be happy to never see you again." Evil words sat on your tongue, evil vicious words that would poison a soul; you can't bring yourself to say them, and maybe that was pity. You walk away before you could sink you teeth in to rip apart his frosted heart.
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You don't really see him the rest of the semester, it was for the best anyways as you focused on finals. It wouldn't be strange, to fall back into the pattern of glaring and undermining him, but for some reason you don't think you would have been able to.
You don't think on the why.
He claimed to be sick, avoiding rehearsals and stating he would be back when the semester started up again.
You don't hear anything from him, not through any of your friends, he had blocked you on social media finally cutting of any form of communication. It was fine. You didn't need him in your life, but you couldn't deny the want of his presence there, and that doesn't seem right at all.
"I wish you could have come home honey." Your mom says on the other line. "They decorations were so nice, I'll send you some pictures." She sighed, "Your father is upset, he was throwing this party to help you network and-!"
You pinched the bridge of your nose. "I know mom, but I have this big project I need to work on."
She doesn't even think on the lie you tell her, "Oh we understand, we just miss you, and you father wants you to do well." Her tongue clicks, "Oh and did you get his email about those internships?"
"Yes." You mute yourself before you sigh letting her ramble on with the speech your father gave her, he always used her to get through to you. There's a knock on the door though and you clicked the unmute button, "Hey I have to go, can I call you tomorrow?"
"Of course," You hear her smile, "And happy new years honey, we love you."
"Love you." You hang up going over towards your door to peer out of the peep hole. No one is there. You shrug, well it was a good excuse to get off the phone.
There's another knock, slower, lazier. You stomp back over and fling it open. "This isn't fu-!" He's slouched against your doorframe sitting on the hallway ground. "What are you doing here?"
He hiccuped, "You're so lame spending the holiday alone kitten." He hadn't spoken to you in weeks, he cut you off and avoided you and now he had the audacity to show up drunk on your doorstep to add insult to injury. You go to slam the door on him, but he shoves his foot through to stop it, "Ouch." He peers up at you, eyes red rimmed and lost. "So cruel to me."
"What do you want Snow?"
"Some water." He's wasted and you decide to be nice despite it all. You help him up and into your apartment. He stumbles onto your couch while you grab him some water. "I unblocked you." He rest his head on the back of the couch staring at the ceiling. "You never messaged me."
You hand him the water, "What would I have said?"
He smirks at you taking the glass. "That you miss me."
You take a seat on your coffee table across from him, "I didn't miss you."
"Liar."
You glared at him, "You were rude to me, why would I miss you."
He gives you a lazy smile, "You're so pretty when you glare at me."
"You're obliterated." You scoff standing up and going to your pantry to find food to sober him up. "Where were you tonight anyways?" You ask pulling out bread to make a sandwich, but he never responds and when you turn around he isn't on your couch. You glance at the still locked door, then down the hallway towards your bedroom. You hurry down the hall spotting him standing at your bedside flipping through the book on your nightstand.
He glances up at you, "I recommended this book in class." He shook the title at you, "And you said I was stupid to even think it was a good book." You watch him approach you, "Yet here it is on your nightstand. I know you've read it before, can tell by all the annotations, the crinkles in the pages, the cracks in the spine. I know you're reading it now from the bookmark tucked away on page 314."
He's in front of you, too close and you gape up at him. "I-uh..." You had no explanation besides the truth; that you had picked it up to see for yourself after that class, and then again when his absence had filled your life. "Friends close, enemies closer thing," You throw his words back in his face.
"Back to enemies then?" He drunkenly chuckles swaying on his feet causing your hands to dart out to steady him. "Hm," He mumbles as your fingers twist into fabric gripping his sides to hold him up. "Cruel, wicked curse of mine."
"Why are you here?" You blinked up at him.
He stares down at you, "Would you even believe the truth?" You shake your head, so he sighed coming even closer, "You were right, I am just as loathsome and lonely as you."
His hand comes up to your face and all you can do is look at him, "I thought I was nothing." Your eyes flicker around his face, "I can't keep up with you."
"Then don't." His thumb strokes your cheek and its tender, too tender.
"Coriolanus." You breath up at him.
He tilts your face up the same time he leans his down towards yours. "You've never called me that before." He whispers, his breath fanning onto your face, you can taste the vodka he had drank, the faintest hint of cigarette smoke, the unknown shape of his name still tingling along your tongue. His lips are so close now, a featherlight touch against your own, and one inch closer would connect your mouth to his.
The book clatters out of his hand as he goes to hold the other side of your face, and you're stepping out of his hold clearing your throat. "I'll go get your water." You leave him there not even caring what else he could find in there as you go to get him water. He almost kissed you, you almost kissed him, even after every spewed venomous word that came out of the other's mouth. This was messy and chaotic and shouldn't be happening, but he tugs on something drawing you back to his wildfire. "Here." You pushed the door open to find him lying on your bed fast asleep.
You set the water on the bedside table anyways and go to leave when his hand wraps around your fingers. "I missed you." His voice is heavy with sleep, but you caught it. "You keep me warm."
"You could get burned." Your voice cracks remembering Clemensia's warning.
"Burn me." He tugs on your hand, "Burn me until I'm nothing but ashes."
You squeeze it once before letting go, "Goodnight Snow." He doesn't answer as you leave him alone in your dark room.
You don't sleep much, tossing and turning on your couch while he sleeps off the alcohol in your bed. You spend most of the night staring at your ceiling wondering how you had ended up here with him. You had hated him, you wanted nothing to do with him, and he had proven time and time again how much of that was true, and you knew you had done the same for him. But here the two of you were, almost kissing in your bedroom, and not for the play.
Blame the alcohol, always a good excuse.
He sleeps until the late afternoon coming out into the kitchen with sleep mused hair and his clothes on from yesterday. "You should have made me sleep on the couch." He tells you sleep still dragging his voice down a couple octaves.
"I tried." You smile sarcastically going to your cabinet to pull down a clean coffee mug.
"I shouldn't have come here." It isn't anger; it's guilt lacing his tone.
You pour coffee into the cup. "No you shouldn't have." You turned around sliding it across the island towards him. "Why did you?"
He doesn't look at you, just at the black swirling liquid in the cup. "I don't know." He does know, he had muttered it to you in the dark, and you wanted-needed to hear it in sober words. "I didn't mean what I said that night." He blinked up at you. "I was trying to hurt you."
The corners of you mouth turn up in surrender, "Isn't that what we do best?"
"You aren't shallow." His hand wraps around the mug pulling it closer. "You are not your father." His blue eyes quiver, "And you are not nothing to...you are not nothing."
You turn your back on him pretending to search through your cabinets for food, you didn't like the way he was looking at you, the way it made your insides twist, so you attempt to break up the mood. "I tend to say unkind things I don't mean as well. I'm a pain in the ass, your pain."
He chuckles, but it's weak and you avoid the urge to turn around to take in his facial expression. "Guess you are." You pull down bagels. "So...are we..." You slide four into the toaster. "Okay?"
"When have we ever been okay Snow?" You twist the sleeve back up. "We've been at each others throats since we met." You finally turn back around blue eyes meeting yours and your fickle heart thumps two extra beats at the lost expression there. "We're fine." You cup your own coffee in your hands, "Isn't that the glory of being enemies, we have seen that absolute worst side of each other."
He brings the mug to his lips, "Are we still enemies?"
The toaster dings, bagels popping up. "That's for me to know and you to find out." You turn back around gathering the food and setting it on plates. "Do you remember anything from last night?" You're stiff as you ask it, wondering if he remembered his lips so close to yours, the words he had spilled across bedsheets.
"No." He forces out a laugh, "Why did I say anything embarrassing?"
You wave your hand around lying through your teeth as you joke back. "Obviously just that I am the most amazing person ever and how I am so much more smarter than you." You turn back towards him sliding the plate across from him as you both wear mask; no one will surrender tonight leaving you two forever in this roundabout game. "Any big plans for tonight? Should I leave my door unlocked just in case?"
"No." He chuckles. "I was stupid last night, went to the bar and got even more stupid."
You chew through food. "On that we can agree." He stares down at his plate pushing it around before eating himself. You knew he was just going to go home to be alone again, you swallow. "Stay tonight." He blinks up at you, "I can make hot chocolate and we can watch cheesy holiday movies." You set your bagel down, "No one should be alone this time of year."
"Take your own advice kitten."
You glare, "I am Snow, that's why I am asking you." His eyes flicker around your face, you're so pretty when you glare at me. You relax your face remembering his words and wonder if he was too.
He mockingly sighed, "Fine only because you begged me to."
You shake your head fighting the smile as you continue to eat breakfast with him.
Soon enough under the cover of snowy darkness the two of you sit beneath separate blankets watching some of your favorite holiday movies with large cups of hot chocolate smothered in whipped cream. You're laughing, you're crying, you're having too much of a good time with someone you're supposed to dislike.
But it's beginning to become hard to dislike him, it's beginning to frustrate you how much you didn't dislike him as much as you should. He was cruel and cunning and everything you had always hated about power hungry men. You weren't that much different though as you suddenly were starting to see that.
It's why you began to distance yourself from your parents, noticing how you father was turning you just as cold as him, only allowing you to focus on one thing; remaining on top, destroying anyone close enough to you that could jeopardize that. You know you needed to continue the path he set for you in order to succeed, but the appeal was lackluster and you were resentful.
You glanced out of the window watching the snow fall silently outside.
"Do you like snow?"
You blink looking at him. "Hmm?"
"Snow?" He motioned outside. "Do you like it?"
You chuckled to yourself, "I guess so." You were standing up padding over to the large glass doors to open up onto the balcony. "I like when it makes the world so quiet." You lean against the railing closing your eyes listening to nothing as the snow trickles down to the cement below. Your fingers were chilling as they held onto the frozen railing, but you didn't mind, just a little while longer. He slides next to you, "We never did normal things." You stare out into the world, "Never went ice skating, or made gingerbread houses." You met his blue eyes, "Watched holiday movies together. He never had time." You scoffed shaking your head, "Always dragged us around to parties and events."
"A company ski trip." He nudged you.
"Don't remind me." You rolled your eyes enjoying his warm shoulder remaining pressed into yours. "Some parts were fun." You nodded, "But I think I just craved normalcy, emotionally present parents, I don't know, a father who didn't view me as a pawn." You cringed at yourself looking down, "I do sound spoiled."
"No." His voice was so soft you don't dare look up. "It's okay to be upset they weren't there for you in ways you needed." He nudged you again, gentle this time. "Even if you got everything else you wanted."
You sighed, "Maybe I need to move on from it all, stop holding a grudge over something so silly."
He doesn't answer for a while forcing you to finally look up at him. "It's not silly."
"How is Tigris?" You force the change in subject.
"She's good...really good." He smiled to himself, "Thinking about opening up her own store, launching a new line in a few weeks, all the cool stuff."
You smile with him pinkie twitching towards his against the railing. "That's awesome for her."
His eyes lower taking in your face, your lips. "You have..." He brings his hand up thumb brushing off whatever was there. "Whip cream." He whispered out fingers still under your jaw holding your face.
"Thanks." You breath.
Your heart is pounding in your chest, skin too hot for the frigid temperatures as he gazes down at you, as he caresses your flushed face. It felt too intimate for this without the buffer of alcohol, the buffer of a play. You were here alone with him in the snow while the sound of holiday music floated outside from the movie playing on your television. He turns his body completely towards you tilting your face up so much that you have to turn as well. He cups your face, you lean into it,
"Coriolanus." You sigh hand gently wrapping around his wrist to touch him, stop him, stop yourself.
His grip tightened, "Don't." He isn't angry, he's conflicted. "Don't say my name like that." His other hand is on your waist, "You test my patience enough as it is."
"What do you want?"
He leans down, nose brushing yours. "To stop feeling this way, to know it doesn't always lead to ruin."
Your brows furrow, "Am I truly so horrible?"
"No." He breaths you in, the only thing separating your lips. "Gods no."
"We..." You swallow down the overwhelming urge to connect your mouth to his. "We should go back inside."
He nods, but doesn't move. "We should." He licked his lips, "You were always the stronger one."
You hated that it was true as you slowly peel yourself away from him. Your brain feels muddled and consumed by him as you walk back into your too warm apartment. He closes the balcony door with a soft click the room tense with unsaid words. You have too much to say, to ask; why, why now, when, is this real or a game? You don't ask it, you can't, you can't formulate words as your heart throbs for the man you had always loathed.
But why? Why did you hate him? You suddenly couldn't remember the reason behind such intense emotions. You can't remember much besides the feel of his breath on your lips, his hand on your waist, how much you wanted to kiss him.
You were lonely, simply lonely from the holidays and not thinking straight, blurring the lines between reality and fiction of theater. You didn't like him, you couldn't. He and Clemensia were right, it would all be ruin and flames.
You take your spot back on the couch the energy shifting between the two of you, suddenly too aware of how close he sat down on the same couch. "I never thanked you for letting me come to your dinner party."
"What are friends for?"
He smirked, "So, friends now?"
You rolled your eyes, "Don't make it such a big deal Snow."
"Coryo," He sighs, "Call me Coryo, you always use Snow when you're scolding me."
You softly smile, "Okay...Coryo."
You didn't mind the taste of it on your tongue.
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endnotes: omgggg what yall feeling so farrr hehehe
chapter 5 coming soon!
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folklorebae · 2 years ago
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𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦 𝐀𝐔 - 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐮𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐬
Spin-off of my rockstar's girlfriend
Cast(s): Rockstar!Eren & Model!Reader
Cw: swearing, reader using she/her pronouns, slight hange x reader, food
A/n: haven't posted anything for months! hope you guys love this one<33
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yourinstagram life recently...
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angelicyn WE MISSED YOUUUU
ynfan23 glad you post this when im still awake
yndaily OMG YOUR PUPPY ISNT A PUPPY ANYMORE. ITS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE WE SAW HER ON YOUR/EREN'S STORY😭
↳yourinstagram i know! but she's getting smarter and cuter. i love her so much, she's my girl:)
erenfan19 i dont see eren... soo the rumors are true?? :((
↳ynfan24 girl, she's her own person and this is her insta. besides, that man is childish lmao. imagine unfollowing THE Y/N L/N just because she doesn't attend his concert in europe...
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14,937 likes
justjared After getting unfollowed by her long-time boyfriend last week, Y/N L/N was spotted walking out of Oscar-winning costume designer Hange Zoe's apartment building this morning. New couple alert?
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ereyn.daily i'm happy if y/n's happy🥲
goddessyn cmon, we all know they've been friends for ages. stop spreading stupid rumor like this
erenfan20 not gonna believe anything till one of them confirm it in front of my face
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26,638 likes
paradis.memes Thoughts?
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paradisfan7 Im not believing this shit
erenfan21 she doesnt wanna marry him, im crying😭
↳paradisfan8 she once said she's jo march kinnie😭
↳ynfan25 How do you know she doesn’t wanna marry him? Maybe he doesn't wanna marry her? We don’t know what happened behind the curtain unless Y/N and Eren themselves actually comment on it .
erenfan22 guys, if you read the article that @people posted, at the end they said “Reps for Jaeger and L/N have not commented on the breakup.”
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paradisofficial Paradis World Tour. Antwerp. May, 2023.
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paradisfan9 YOU GUYS WERE SO AWESOME😭❤️
paradisfan10 PLS PLS COME BACK TO ANTWERP ASAP. ALSO THE SURPRISE SONG?!? BED OF ROSES?!?
paradisfan11 so sad cant see you guys perform last night🥲💔
paradisfan12 if you guys dont cover “bed of roses” on your Asia Tour, you're racist.
↳paradisofficial We've agreed that every region will have different song to cover. Thank you for your support😊
↳paradisfan12 OMG I WAS JOKING LMAO (i mean, not really)
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sashablouse unseen🤓
tagged: @yourinstagram @nicolo
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nicolo 🤍
Liked by sashablouse
conniespringer dude, what were you doing in the first pic
↳sashablouse cause you're just a man 🙄
yourinstagram dont wanna be a third wheel anymore...
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paradisupdatee New Setlist For Europe Tour! I've upgraded the playlist, link in bio.
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paradis.devil see you at accor arena tmrw!!
↳paradisupdatee See you, bby<3
paradisfan13 the fact they didnt cover any song in northern europe countries😀
paradisfan14 I literally flew from brussels to london last month to see them perform AND THEY DIDNT SING BED OF ROSES?!? I WAS ROBBED!!
↳paradisfan15 sameeee i attended some of their shows in us last year and they didn't cover any song 😭
paradisfan16 is this eren's way to confirm the breakup rumors?😭
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yourinstagram the rumors are terrible and cruel...
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ynln.jpg dont tell me you're in paris...
taylorswift but honey, most of them are true🤭
Liked by yourinstagram
↳yourinstagram patiently waiting for 1989 (Taylor's Version)😊🙏
↳ynfan25 soo the rumors are true?🥲
↳ereyn.daily i'm in spain without s
ereyn.exposing Whatever ereyn does is only for promo. It's a fact that eren is not going to follow y/n or ever going to post her picture on his Instagram again.
↳yourinstagram seems like you guys have been talking about this and tag me in a few posts everyday. but now please, i beg you to stop. it's just negative, i really have no hard feelings towards you. i just know what a beautiful world there is to go out and live in instead of trying to dissect a relationship between two people that you don't even know. i don't need his follow, my name is permanently tattooed to his arm. This is my final comment on this, but i want you to know that it's not meant to offend you. just hoping you can find something else in life to be inspired by xx
↳erenfan23 OMG OMG OMG YESS YOU TELL THEM QUEEN
↳ynfan26 FINALLY PEOPLE COULD SHUT THEIR MOUTH NOW. THESE "EXPOSING" ACCOUNTS ARE ANNOYING AF
↳erenfan24 I think you should've messaged them, instead of calling them out publicly like this. no offense, still love you tho
↳yourinstagram i see why you think that ought to have been a direct message, and i agree. i just didn't considered it. it's all really frustrating, and i'm only human... you guys understand how hurtful assumptions like this can be, especially when they are made about someone i care about a lot. if you guys care about him too, you'll eventually realize that we are on the same team. i apologize if it came off as impolite or rude. i was simply attempting to start a conversation so people would realize that their statements were painful rather than just an "anonymous confession." this cruel internet culture has no benefit for society as a whole. 
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ereynpost “You guys are crazy, you know that? No... I don’t think my girlfriend and I need another dog for now. What about you, Jean?” — Eren laughs as he answers a fan's sign.
USHSSUDSHDUAJSYSHS GUYSSS THE RUMORS ARENT TRUEEEE THEY'RE STILL TOGETHER OMFG!!!!
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its.ereyn Girl, I almost deactivate this account
↳ereynpost PLS, SAME😀
ynfan27 OMG MY EREYN HEARTTT
erenfan25 PARENTS OMG😭😭😭
ynfan28 I can die in peace now, thanks
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erenjaeger My love, my lady, the most precious human on this earth. I'm really grateful because we have an incredibly meaningful, loving, and fun relationship. As you guys know, this world is cruel and I'd do anything to make her the happiest, but I've failed to do it. I personally love it when people make assumptions or speculations about me, because I know they all wrong. But when people start to say something hurtful to my woman, I can't tolerate it.
Six years of relationship and we have never ever broken up, not even once, if that's what you all really want to know. She's my present and future, she's the one who teaches me how forever feels. The love I have for her only gets stronger and bigger, it's crazy to think about it. Thank you for all the love and support, we really appreciate it.
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erenfan26 I TOLD YOU ALL THEY'RE ENDGAME
ynfan29 how to find myself a man like you😭
erenfan27 oh he is, he really is in love🥹❤️
yndaily the fact that i'll never experience this type of love hurts a lot. but i couldnt be more happier for you two💓
jeankirschtein ngl, at first i did believe you two broke up
↳erenjaeger bro, fuck off
↳erenfan28 LMAO JEANNNN, IM CRYINGG😭😭😭
ereyn.daily As iconic as David Bowie and Iman❤️
↳yourinstagram thank you, but I don't deserve this compliment. also, your comment will boost eren's ego, he'll think he's as good as him
↳erenjaeger why would you say that:(
(+bonus on what really happened lol)
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chaifootsteps · 3 months ago
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I think I realized why hh makes me feel so uncomfortable yet attracted to the show at the same time. It's filled with lots of interesting ideas yet the dialogue reminds me of all the bullies and generally unpleasant people I've met. I want to see stories with demons and can't help but expect something grand out of this. I want to see a fictional world with its own rules, I want to see characters that deviate from mortal perspective on things. Instead I see adults that tell others to kys and make sex jokes. I think it's fine if it's what creators find funny or cool. I know it's a part of reality. I personally had bad experiences with people like that and sitting through this can be tiring or alienating to me, knowing the majority of characters are like that.
I think you could write villains as a scary and irredeemable people without making them tantrumy and without the kys jokes. I've known people who said kys to others and they were not worth my time and energy in the end, and now I have to come back from a long day and watch fictional characters Im supposed to dedicate my free time to, to root for, act the same way. I can't take them seriously
The dialogue reminds me of all the bullies I've known. Swearing, being petty, crossing boundaries and sexually assaulting others played off as a joke reminds me of how bullies saw them acting that way as a joke. Those bullies thought they were geniuses and smarter than others and if someone was uncomfortable they were a loser. I know that bullies are actually weak people with fragile egos. How am I supposed to find characters like that attractive and inspirational?
Even Charlie, the nicest of all, forces others to do what she wants, and she's rewarded at the end. The exceptions are maybe vaggie and pentious but people hate vaggie and I don't know why. I suspect it's because she's like a strict mother who scolds you for misbehaving
That's one of the least redeemable and least fixable things about Viv's stories, the core of pure, childish meanness at the heart of it all. That's because Viv herself, despite being a 30+ year old woman, still has the empathy of the worst person you knew in high school, and she doesn't see the slightest bit of a problem with that. It seeps into her shows like contaminated groundwater, and here we are.
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heart-defendor · 2 years ago
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City of Nightmares Part 4
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Shes back baby!
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
Warnings: Typical Acotar stuff, MDI
 Lounging on a chaise in her brother's chambers and watching as her brother Orian argued with one of their cousins about some inane topic. Drinking in one of the comfy salons of the family estate was a typical night for them, the arguing was typical too.She drew her legs up tucking them under her knees, enjoying the heat that came from the large silver and black marble fireplace.The chatter faded into the background. 
A week and a half had passed since she had last seen Azriel, that had been the night where he’d saved her .When in her drunken state awkwardly proposed he come again. She cringed internally. Y/n had even suggested he fly up and meet her on her balcony, which was totally unnecessary given he was just walking her home.  ANd he had stayed entertaining her drunken ramblings. 
She wasn’t even sure she wanted to see him again. The odds were so stacked against them, it would be smarter to avoid the heartbreak all together. 
Suddenly,she felt it, like a flower blooming within her chest. 
He’s here.
 The bond had come alive.  As strong as when it had first snapped, Azriel was close and had left his side of the bond wide open. 
She felt a gentle tug, he was calling to her. Yn sits up quickly, her heart beats wildly in her chest and all doubts are quickly forgotten. Fortunately the others are still too busy to notice the change. She steadies herself, doing her best to appear calm; she bids them goodnight before swiftly returning to her own chambers where she is sure she will find him. 
Mate, Mate 
She stops in front of her large oak door, he's on the other side she knows it. But Yn is rooted to the ground, her urgency is doused by waves of anxiety. She feels it pulling in her chest and all too soon realizes this isn't her fear, it's Azriels. He's worried about meeting her. Scared of how she will respond to him. It's the push she needs, her hand closes on the brass door knob and she steps into the room. 
The room is dark, but she finds him easily enough. Azriel is leaning threshold to her balcony, backlit from Hewns lights, his shadows swirl along the floor. He's trying to appear nonchalant but the bond betrays his nerves. 
Does he know I can feel him?
Yn gives him a small smile, and flicks her wrists illuminating the room in a soft glow. He gives her a small smile in return but does not move from his place against the door frame. 
"You don't have to be nervous, ill be nice I swear"
Immediately the anxiety in her chest vanishes as Azriel clamps down their connection. Azriel gives a soft grunt and looks to the floor, Yn can't help but find the gesture cute and lets out a giggle. She walks over to a small glass and metal cart against the wall that houses her favorite liquor, a whiskey from the Winter Court, along with an assortment of mixers. She can feel his golden eyes following her.
Picking up the bottle by the neck in one dainty manicured hand, she spins towards him and gives the bottle a small shake. 
"Is the sick up your ass still there or are you going to join me for a drink?"
Azriel snorts, but his posture loses its rigidity and his wings open slightly. This is what he must look like when actually relaxed, she thinks while unscrewing the cap. 
"I thought you said you were going to be nice”
"I am being nice," she grins while plopping down in her plush crimson armchair now with drink in hand. She snuggles into it with her knees crossed. "Besides it's only the truth, you and that general are always so rigid, standing about glaring at everyone. Do you two ever have fun? Perhaps it’s an Illyrian thing?”
Azriel shugs, finally leaving the threshold to grab the drink she prepared for him,“It’s our job to keep the High Lord and Lady safe”. He doesn't sit in the adjacent chair, instead making his way over to the foot of her bed. For his wings she realizes as he sits down and they spread out on either side of him. They are so large the ends hang off the sides. Powerful too, she remembered how they had launched him into the air with her in his arms. 
Her attention snaps back to his face. “As for Cassian, be thankful he isn't down here making a fool of himself. Did you know he destroyed an entire building in the Summer Court? If left unsupervised he’d probably bring down this whole damn mountain.”
Y/n chuckled, “Sounds like you are more of a babysitter for the High Lord and the general than you are a spymaster.”
Azriel smirked back at her, “some days it certainly feels like it.” 
The two talked late into the night. About Azriels family and the mischief they had gotten into over the years and all the places he had traveled as a part of his court duties. He told her about how the Inner Circle were his family, that Ryhsand and Cassian had become brothers. She learnt that her High Lord went by Rhys, and preferred to live in a townhouse for Cauldron's sake over the Moonstone Palace. He skirted around the topic of his birth family, when she asked. His eyes downcast and his gloved hands were tightened on his glass only mentioning that his father had left him at an Illyrian training camp at a young age.
The focus had quickly shifted to her own family. How her cousin Cole couldn’t flirt to save his life, of her friends that she frequently partied with. Though he already knew of him, Y/n had boasted about Orian who had climbed the Darkbringer ranks, working closely with her uncle. Azriel had shown surprise when she talked about her own training, how it was not uncommon for females in the Court of Nightmares to know how to defend themselves. “Although I am useless with a sword, I have never had use for one.” She had said, her voice filled with pride as she talked about the Umbra family’s strong Night Court magic.   
They had then discussed books and card games and all matters of random things that made them who they are. Conversation flowed like water between them. When the world fell away and it was just the two of them, safe in her chambers, it was to forget all the reasons they shouldn’t be together. The cord in her ribs grew stronger as her perceptions of him fell apart to see the sweet and kind soul underneath. 
At some point she joined him on the bed snuggling into the comforter, Azriel remained above the sheets but had settled beside her leaning against the headboard. Now she watched as Azriel’s wing that had been spread behind her tentatively curled around her body. Y/n watched the way the muscles and fibers moved beneath the membrane. She had thought them a deep gray but now she could tell they had a purplish tinge to them. They looked soft yet strong, she wondered what they would feel like beneath her fingers. Without thinking she reach out running her hand along the inside of a bone. They are soft.
Y/n heard a sharp intake of breath. Her eyes flicked over to Azriel, he was staring back, honey eyes now wide and dark, his cheeks dusted with a faint pink. 
“Do they please you?” 
Immediate denial of her fascination was on the tip of her tongue when something stopped her, Azriel was being vulnerable. She could be honest. Besides this was her mate, she was allowed to like him.
“They are beautiful," she admitted. He searched her face for something when appeased his own face broke out into a grin.  
“You should, know Illyrian wings are sensitive, don't start something you aren't ready to finish." His voice held both promise and challenge.
She wanted to rise to it, she meant to. Instead she yawned and Azriel laughed. Suddenly she was aware of how tired she was, her eyelids grew heavy.
"Perhaps next time princess, get some sleep its late."
She tried to protest but another yawn interrupted her. .Azriel smoothed her hair back and kissed her forehead. She closed her eyes and felt the bed shift as he got up.
As she drifted off surrounded by the sent of cedar and cool night air, she let herself be content. If only for the time being.
Tag list: @issybee0611 @emturtles @valeridarkness @marina468 @hollyismentallyillhelp @dumbbitchitis69
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diltonsstrangescience · 2 months ago
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@ghoststudios against your advice, I did in fact read the comic where Danni was made a trans woman. And you were not kidding about Dilton. Yikes.
I mean, I figured he had to be pretty awful for you to warn me, so I was bracing myself. But in the time between learning about this comic and reading it, I developed a completely incorrect assumption of what the problem would be. Because I knew that A: this comic established Danni as trans, and B: Dilton was terrible, I figured that Dilton would be transphobic about Danni. I thought that was the problem. I was literally calling this version of him “Transphobic Dilton” in my head.
But having actually read it, he’s… not transphobic? I don’t think? Like, he calls Danni and Jinx “ladies,” plural, and he only dislikes the new “Danielle” because her transition coincided with her abandonment of the sciences, which he took as a personal insult. I could be missing something, but I think, just maybe, he’s actually accepting of transness, and understands that Danni is a girl.
I mean, he’s still also an asshole. And I am not normally someone who swears, ever, so you know this one is well-earned. This particular version of Dilton is a HUGE ASSHOLE. Oh my GOD, every single thing he says is so cruel for no reason!!! I mean, every version of him is pretentious and egotistical, but this one takes every opportunity not only to lift himself up but also to put others down, constantly insulting Danni’s intelligence—might I add, completely irrationally!!! He’s the one that screwed up and made his time machine work incorrectly! Every bit of this is his fault! Even OG Dilton could admit that, if begrudgingly!
The thing is, this comic’s characterization of Dilton isn’t actually that far off-base. I can see OG Dilt being this self-centered—expecting people to know what he wanted even if his instructions weren’t clear, taking someone’s personal decisions (such as leaving science) and making them about himself, smugly science-splaining to someone who’s probably actually smarter than him, blaming others for his mistakes so he can still feel superior, and absolutely refusing to admit that he failed to make a time machine correctly, to the point where he’s so convinced of his right-ness that he accidentally creates an entire fake world that makes it seem like he was successful. I could definitely imagine OG Dilton doing all of this, and it would be fairly in-character.
I canNOT, however, imagine OG Dilton being quite this much of a JERK about things. I’ve seen the OG get rude and annoying and condescending before, but it is literally every other sentence with this new guy, and it shoots straight past ego into plain cruelty for its own sake. It’s so hard to read.
If you don’t mind, I’ll just go back to playing with the OG duo like dolls, putting them on fun little adventures and making their dynamic increasingly more Morticia-and-Gomez-Addams-esque to restore balance to the universe. If Dilton isn’t gazing up dreamily at his amazing girlfriend like she’s the brightest star in the galaxy, then I’m doing something wrong.
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bambooshootssoup · 2 years ago
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- Comfort, Hugs, And Cuddles -
(Headcanon (again))
I swear I'm not a Hawks simp👍
TW : Physical Touch, Excessive amounts of sugar
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You can't really always judge a book by its covers, well... I mean, For Hawks cases, he seems like a man who knows everything about physical affection, or that's what he said
But he actually never really experienced it once nor gave someone physical affection, he only knew some of the basics but never really got a chance to demonstrate it due to lack of affection since childhood
But when you come to his life like a sudden gust of wind, he finally could feel all of those long desired experiences
At first he would be kinda shy and blush a bit with all kinds of affection, the first time you hug him out of blue.... Boom! There are butterflies in his stomach, 'is this what genuine love feels like? ' that's everything he could ever think at that moment
And now... He needs all of those to fulfill his day, more than three meals a day, a hug before going to work, a headpat when he's doing a great job, and another hug when he's tired, etc.....
If he manages to get all of those in one day, it would make him the happiest bird in the whole world
And it motivated him to become a better person, and sometimes, the commission would get confused by his sudden burst of Performance
At first, they thought the relationship was a bad thing for him, the more he connected to the other, the more fragile he became, they were afraid that the relationship itself could become his weakness one day
And he is aware of that, that's why he wants to become stronger, faster, and smarter, so he could protect you from anything that might become a threat to both of you
He is willing to give everything, just to go home and have his good old cuddles
And he is always ready to give you a big warm hug, even if you don't need one, he is very perceptive and could predict your mood throughout the day
If you go home after him, and put your "tired" Face, he will extend his hand, hug you gently while asking you 'how's your day? ' or 'what's wrong? Will you talk about it to me? '
If you ever get sad or scared, he'll embrace you, wrap his Fierce red Wings around you, protecting you from the harsh outside world, or whatever that might scare you, assured that there's nothing to scare about, because he's there with you
And that's how he became the most Clingiest (just for you) and the most affectionate person in this world
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Thank you for reading
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catboygirljoker · 3 months ago
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Genuinely curious; you got any headcanons for like random eccentricities/foibles for the Org13 or anyone else?
regrettably most of my headcanons tend to be on a broader characterization/thematic level, ideas about how characters relate to each other and the world and themselves. the droves and droves of hyperspecific headcanons i have about xigbar are primarily from turning him over in my hands so many times trying to figure out what the Fuck is going On with him. i dont really get deep into the weeds of little details until i feel i have a strong idea of who a character is as a person
i have got a random grab bag of headcanons here for ya, though i think theyre not exactly what you had in mind. i tried to avoid mentioning xigbar as much as possible because if i didn't it'd just turn into a xigpost.
in order from mostly a joke to more serious and thought out:
dark riku is a teenage reddit atheist type who disguises his discomfort with swearing by claiming that people only swear if their vocabularies arent big enough to come up with something smarter to say. vanitas is an undiagnosed untreated unsupported AuDHD problem child who swears every other word and plays with lighters and knives. they cant be left alone in a room with each other because they Will try to kill each other.
there have been way more organization members than we've seen, like, maybe there were originally 13 org members. axel just killed all the others so saix would rise in the ranks. the only people we see in the org either dont pose a threat or are taken out as soon as they do. everyone always asks "how is demyx in the org if he's so lazy?" when the answer is that he survived because he's lazy.
(xigbar is the one exception in that he's definitely a threat, but he's frustratingly difficult to blackmail or kill or otherwise neutralize. xaldin is a follower more than a leader and dedicated to his duties; lexaeus the same. vexen doesnt want power, hes just here for science, he just wants funding. demyx ive mentioned. luxord's just here to play poker. and well we see what happens to the rest.)
saix directly modeled himself after xemnas and is as devoted to him as axel is to saix. i feel like if you compare isa's hair in bbs to his hair in 2+, you can make the argument that saix has styled his hair to resemble xemnas's. in 3 we see him in full berserk mode standing obediently at xemnas's heel without budging an inch as he watches his best friend get hurt.
(worth noting that i imagine we are meant to understand that saix is just, like, a good employee, he wants power in the org so he works hard to attain it and is obedient in pursuit of that. i think there are even scenes were it seems like saix doesnt fully trust xemnas. but i like making it fucked up and dependent. sue me)
xemnas doesnt really feel like hes entirely there. you look into his eyes and its like hes looking a little past you. hes a shell of a shell of a shell, the nobody of a botched possession who had vague experiments done on him. all he seeks and all he cares about is kingdom hearts and he barely remembers why. the only time he's actually present or displays any concrete personality or will is when he's exerting that will over someone. contrast the spacey floatiness of any of his long-winded monologues with how suddenly laser-focused he is on destroying axel in 3.
i made a post where i reference the platonic threefold structure of the soul [boo hiss]—if xemnas is just the Head and Belly, divested from the chest, nothing but pure carnal hunger for kingdom hearts and the higher logical means of attaining it, ansem SoD is just the Chest, the irrational emotional yearning for kingdom hearts. thats why he has nothing to do with the org or xemnas, he's kind of a rogue element doing his own thing. since he's the inverse of xemnas, the two of them cant work together, the same way you couldnt play a chess game with a rabid dog
anyway thank you foibles anon ! i hope you like this post anyway even if im sure its not what you expected
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ganondoodle · 11 months ago
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the way i think about my stories can be so annoying bc there will be a point when i reach a certain story beat after which i dont know how to continue, and the way i do find are usually ... not good .. or i imagine it is not so i think man i cant do that thats so dumb and annoying i gotta think of something better, but then i cant come up with anything better bc once i got a solution to soemthign i cant think of anything smarter- and then i get bored of it as a whole bc man, this really was stupid from the start wasnt it
(this is all some stupid rambling and does NOT represent anythign that will happen in destiny, i swear the actual story with a proper end makes much more sense)
listen to me rambling but this morning i thought about the essentialyl non-canon good "ending" of destiny, a kind of self indulgent dumb lil alternative where everyone lives blah blah, but then of course it cant just end there, bc the end goal of the both of them is to find out the gods plan and secrets and also kill the gods, as you do, then i got a certain point that i found cool (which initially came from the whole thoguht of what if zelda game but you could play demise and it took place after the alternative ending in which the goal is to get rid of the gods) where the fight one of the gods but are kinda losing and as the god is trying to devour demise, as gods do, he abandons his body and his spirit/core, who cant exist without his body so hes still connected through the spirits tail , and climbs through the gods interdimensional weird 'mouth' while its trying to rip him apart to reach the core of the god in a last attempt to take them down with him, while hylia is fighting to keep the god from severing the thin connection he still has to his body but fails just as he reaches the core so the god is killed but his core is immediatelly starting to dissolve and hylia manages to grab his core and put it back into his body and flee from whatever is happeing to that dead god back into hyrule
he survives but is incredibly weak as his spirit has lost half of itself (blade spirits are also forged throguh sacrificing part of their spirit/core permantently but this is besides the point, none of this makes sense anyway), something he obviously hates but cant do anything about really, once a part of their core is gone its gone (not like lost energy but gone gone) but the core is also slowly dissolving further which is a death sentence with no way to act against- then theres a whole quest to .. well, stop that, while hes falling back into self hatred and fear bc hes now so weak that hylia can break his bones without any effort if she were to treat him in any way similar to before and to a deity that all their life was never so fragile, one whos most defining feature IS his power and strength to keep going no matter what, thats gotta be pretty existentially dreadful (and also its a set back to know that they cant just go fight the gods together like that, theres still two more and he cant fight like that)
then i wondered ok what if then, even if the time doesnt quite line up but at this point the entire prophecy cant be done anymore either so everythings out of order, the cloud barrier weakens and zelda is abducted (not by ghirahim) and link goes and tries to find her, but since everythigns not as it should have been he meets hylia and demise (disguised tho) and they immediately know who he is and then go along and try to help link find his friend (hylia does it bc she got the idea to make him find the triforce and wish demises spirit to be restored, since only a mortal can do that and links the most likely candidate to be able to go through the trials of it since he was supposed to already, even if the circumstances are different- demise goes along with it bc hes still trying to deal with essentially slowly dying and not knowing what to do with himself since hes afraid to get into fights or similar, much to his disdain, so hes acting like a companion of sorts, a mentor figure in a way, not knowing what hylias plan is)
i found the idea kinda interesting to have them be like a lil group that goes on links adventured with him, but with strangely intricate knowledge of how the dungeons work, link still doing the heavy lifting but them being there like parents cheering on their kid in a competetion, all the while putting the whole puzzle and dungeon aspect in a way different light bc half of them were never completed (they wanted to escape the prophecy after all) so they all work completely differently, some bosses being maybe some of the gods creatures instead (like the skysw guardians)- the mid journey point being that they find zelda, and who kidnapped her, it being one of the shiekah having most closely worked with hylia before the whole -break the prophecy- thing started (idk if it would be impa .. idea is neat) and is hellbent on making the gods plan work out like it was supposed to, kinda like the inverse of the games plot, so they got ahold of zelda as part of making her into the new hylia (despite hylia being .. right there, but they dont believe it is her truly since the true tm hylia would never betray the gods- ALSO a paralel to how the downfall of demises world worked bc his mortals turned on him after he started destroying their version of the triforce in the belief destroying it would be the only way to save mortals from going to war agaisnt each other for it over and over, mortals believing that their true deity was gone and replaced by a demon despite demise being ..right there)
after link wins the fight and frees zelda from them they in a kind of last effort to do anything against their group they stab demise, normally that wouldnt do shit against him but in his already fading away situation it basically puts him from very slowly dying to actually dying, as a reaction to it hylia kills the mortal (maybe impa idk), which is the first time she does anything like that to a mortal but i like the idea of her being actually super ruthless when it comes to things she cares about
now with a much more dire time limit hylia sends demise back to essentialyl go hide in her temple and try to not die and to trust her having a plan to make this all still work out- he does and once he is away she reveals pretyt much the entire story around why and what is happenign to link and zelda, hylia herself cant go above the clouds as the barrier is still partially up and she cant do anything to reach the triforce either - so she sends link and zelda to go do that, and it works out in the end bc even knowing the truth know, demise was with them on half of their journey so they know and care, he WILL be mad about them wasting their wish on him (even if he is still happy to be alive- i imagined scene where hes watching himself fall apart and die, alone in hylias temple, having to come to terms with the fact that after everything they had went through hed still die alone- it made me cry while thinking about it, yes, yes you are allowed to laugh)
i didnt get that much further but his spirit was essentially reset to when he was in his prime back in the day through the triforces power- something he both likes and despises, it being the gods power of all things that lets him live again, but also lol to use it agaisnt them by giving another chance to the gods greatest enemy- the next plan is of course to kill the next one of the gods but much better prepared, as they cant just go and do the same thign again (neither wants that), one idea was that hylia goes on a secret quest to try and bring back courage (the third deity that demise killed when his world was still thriving) but it involves diving back into the realm of the gods so she doesnt tell him at first, i do think theyd go together in the end, not to fight but to release courage; the whole thing is also an elaborate revenge plot of hylia, how dare the gods do that to him!!
anyway thats most of what i got from that thinking session but its so frustrating bc none of this is even in the actual comic (since it ends in a way that leads into canon skysw, this is some brain fart nooo i want blorbo to live and succeed!!) and its also convoluted and kinda dumb, the idea to inverse the games plot in a way (instead of it being ghirahim trying to bring demise back its someones plan to make the gods prophecy happen no matter what) is neat but i cant have demise almost dying be the thing THREE TIMES, it kinda undercuts his character and is way too much centered around him, all three times also more or less involving it needing help from others to get him back, when his whole thing should be being unkillable bc he jsut keeps refusing to die, also hylia is, as of now in this spaghetti derailment of random thoughts, way too much of a side character, which i dont like, and it all would make people not like demise when im trying to do the exact opposite of that in the main actual comic
i know being super self indulgent and jsut doing what you want is good for the most part but theres a point where it becomes stale cringy fantasies about my blorbo tm and i wanna write at least decent stories- in the end none of this matters anyway as the actual REAL story of destiny is already pretty long and i got no plan to write that alternative 'good ending' anyway and i mostly just thought about it bc "i dont want blorbo to die :(" and "wouldnt it be fun if the entire plot of the game would get messed up and now demise link hylia and zelda etc can all just drink tea together and make plans to get rid of the gods that wanted them all to suffer needlessly"
i probably shouldnt post this as it was really only a vent to get out dumb thoughts from my brain before they poison me into losing interest of the biggest comic project i have worked on so far but i am unable to keep these things to myself so
if you read all of this, im sorry (´。_。`)
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c0rinarii · 9 months ago
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Gonna recompile some thoughts about the 13SAR characters now that im past midpoint!
Juro: Oh its getting juicy.... unfortunately my boy is still as intresting as a plank of sheet wood but im intrested to see if his character goes anywhere outside of the Kyuta stuff going on. Im also sorry i ever suggested to u to make out with Kyuta.
Iori: SHE'S SO FUNNY.... I aspire to have even an inch of her whimsy and dedication to being so #normal. I too would like to confess to my weird as hell crush disregarding the fact he's a dangerous fugitive. Girl of All Time
Shuu: Frat bot facade is slowly starting to crumble and im here to see it. Uncover the truth, gayboy‼️
Megumi: I FEEL SO SORRY FOR U GIRL.... 😭 May you find peace in the future but its an overall shitty situation to be in. truly have her in my thoughts and prayers
Natsuno: I WAS SO HEARTBROKEN TO SEE HER WHIMSY FADE AWAY ONCE SHE FOUND OUT ABOUT THE TRUE NATURE OF THE KAIJU 😭😭 I love that she managed to maintain her optimism despite the awful situation she's been put in though. Still a joy to see pop up on the screen
Keitaro: HE REALLY IS A GOOD BOY... He's just trying his best and i love him for that. You'll save everyone you care about i promise [IMPERIALISM IS LYING TO U AND TAKATOSHI!! I SWEAR]
Takatoshi: Boys be fighting demons and demons is bisexuality. I enjoy him a Regular amount and i appreciate seeing his himboisms so much in the game. I never want to seem him That sad again [IMPERIALISM IS LYING TO U AND KEITARO!! I SWEAR]
Okino:
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Yuki: MY PRINCE.... MY SHINING STUD‼️‼️ I love her a very normal ammount and seeing her slowly uncover the truth is nice to see. Definetily much smarter than she think she is.
Gouto: The fact that he is ong for real Ryoko's government assigned boyfriend is the funniest thing to come out of the game so far. He's still gated behind a huge completion milestone but so far i feel like he's trying to make sense of the situation the best he can. Unlike Tomi though, he's very scared of the circumstances of if he disobeys orders, i think.
Ryoko: She's been such a mood so far that i now think of her with her hands on her head when i stress about my uni deadlines. Im so sorry for Ida being anywhere near her life. She should get a wife to kiss and heal her. I give her full permission to kill anyone who breaks her heart. My snarky queen
Ei: HE ACTUALLY GREW ON ME I CANT BELIEVE IT. He really reminds me if the cool rivals with a soft spot you'd see in shonen anime and I cant be too mad at that. I enjoy how taciturn he can be too.
Nenji: HE'S ACTUALLY SUCH A SWEETHEART... knowing that he was childhood friends with Miwako really made me like him more (esp with how he treats her!) Loveable idiot.
Tomi: MY MUTUAL... OOMF IN ARMS... #GIRL IN LAW. Literally love how's she's written her personality is so so colorful. She has definitely said some out of pocket shit on twitter before and ill defend her with my life.
Miwako: I WILL WRITE YOU INTO RELEVANCY MYSELF‼️‼️There is so much oppurtunity to write her as one of the 15. LET THEM BE 16‼️‼️ HER "easy to develop crushes" SELF CAN BE MADE INTO SOMETHING MUCH BIGGER TO THE NARRATIVE RAUGHHH
Chihiro: I can see she's really trying her best to save everyone from the kaiju and seems to resort to any means neccesary to do so... i appreciate the effort despite the uh. [gestures] unethical treatment towards minors ig
Ida: EVERYTHING IS LITERALLY UR FAULT. I CANT BELIEVE IT. This would be half the disaster if you learnt how to sod it with ur selfish desires i swear.
Kyuta, Not-Tamao, 426, Izumi: I CLOCKED UR SHIT, SNEAKY BITCH. I dont trust a word you say. """"Means well"""" in the end i think but has way more messed up ways to go around it compared to Morimura
Miyuki: So far looking like the only person willing to help these kids in a way that would not give them severe trauma. Rooting for u girl.
[No thoughts on Tamao since i consider Erika as 426]
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yuri-for-businesswomen · 9 months ago
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i'm a woman with substance use disorder. i didn't get sober through some grand noble journey to Get Better (not that there's a single thing wrong with that!). how i got sober differed depending on the substance. one medication, for a long time i kept stringing psychiatrists along and eventually was unable to keep getting my prescription, and i was going through a string of moves so i was unable to get it off the street, so getting off it wasn't really a choice (i do have one dose left though, i hold onto it just to feel like i have the option to use it if i need). another medication, i still have a prescription for but the comedown was getting so brutal that i just couldn't handle it anymore, so i don't often get the urge to use it because i know what fresh hell is waiting for me on the other side. i did used to have a daily weed use habit, but as i got older i my allergy to it randomly got worse so i had to stop that too. drinking i still struggle with, i binge every single time, but tbh nowadays i'm too lazy to keep up on my stock so the problem is more under control. all this to say, i guess my advice is to try to make it as inconvenient as possible to use, for me that's a big deterrent. you could also try to allow yourself use but on a very strict schedule, like only on a certain day(s) or only x number of times a week. PLEASE remember to ask yourself H.A.L.T. (are you Hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired?), it helped me address some of the underlying causes of my use which helped me reduce it. i've heard people who swear up and down by AA or NA or groups like that. they have a big religion component and the men there can be scummy but having that support and a social group can make a world of difference, for me it was a general group therapy group. i do also think there's something that can happen to addicts where we can become addicted to being sad/suffering, like there's an edginess to it that makes you feel smarter and cooler and more honest than everyone else, like no one else Gets the Depth Of Being Human and they're all naive and etc. no one likes to talk about it but it's true, and acknowledging that i was in love with being at my lowest really called me out on my own shit. i'm keeping you in my thoughts and wishing you the absolute best luck, it'll suck so hard but it's 1000% worth it <333 ily
oh my god thank you so much this actually already helps a lot! and yeah there is such an identity component to drug use many dont talk about… its true. i mean my therapist will help me to get in some sort of program so i really do have access to resources and shit and i think going to a clinic is not the issue but life after… i have tried going sober several times and always had some sort of yoyo effect basically. i also dont just struggle with substances but other addictions and lack of impulse control too. and ive tried doing it in moderation but it never works out longterm. the HALT tip is actually gold, thank you thank you thank you for sharing and your advice and your kind words it means a lot! 🩷
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bebx · 1 year ago
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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love❤
This is so lovely. Thank you! Let’s see what we have (I put the links that will direct you to each of the fics here, they are in italics and are in red);
I leave the arrow in my throbbing heart
Henry had no idea his reality of reshaping the world, after escaping the lab with Eleven, would be less of actually reshaping the world, and more of 'being Eleven's protective big brother, as well as her guardian' instead.
true love won’t desert you
"He is the monster, Henry. Not you."
Henry was standing right in front of her now, and even though he knew he was smarter than this, than to fall into Eleven's trap: she was only saying what she thought he'd want to hear, to save her friend's life. There was a part of him — a naive part — that still saw her as that nine-year-old kid who he once considered a friend. Even after she betrayed him, and turned him into this, Henry once... cared for her (and that was a mistake.)
But the way Eleven was looking at him held more than an indication of a desperate attempt to stall Max's death. She looked at him with what looked like sincerity in her eyes, the way a nine-year-old Eleven used to look at her favorite Friendly Orderly, before things reached the point of no return between them.
"You're not a monster, Henry." Eleven said, a tear rolled down her cheek. "Not to me."
like a dagger to the throat
A Papa and his wayward son. One mistake. Maybe, just maybe, they're not too far gone.
Doctor Brenner makes one last attempt to save Henry. He prays to God there's still a soul left to be saved.
blood so red on your fingers
Henry escaped the Lab with Eleven, and is living with her at Hopper's place. This doesn't mean all the problems are gone.
What Doctor Brenner leaves in his wake is the trauma Henry cannot quite escape from.
when a wolf lost its teeth
For old times' sake, Eleven decided to spare Henry's (Vecna's) life after she defeated him.
Henry was hurt, with his many wounds, and he had no place to come home to. But he still had Eleven, or so he hoped.
I.e. Eleven unexpectedly found Henry huddling in the corner of her room, looking painfully helpless.
Vecna’s Curse
Henry decided to swallow down his pride and come to Will for help. Will found Henry's request to be, understandably, messed up.
To sum it up, both Henry and Will faced their worst fear; their own issues, feelings and pain.
I know I was supposed to put 5 works here, but I kind of cheated and added an extra one here. I mean… I couldn’t help it because I feel like all of these works are my babies so yeah lol. Anyway, I’m aware they are all Henry Creel fanfics. I swear I’m so normal about this man (I’m not).
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jackoshadows · 2 years ago
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The thing with Stannis Baratheon is that he is actually an experienced general and leader, who is unable to strategize more efficiently because he does not understand or know the North. As Jon Snow tells him, ‘The map is not the land’.
He does however asks questions of Jon and listens (Which is more than can be said for Jon’s deputies, the likes of Marsh and Yarwyck). He asks Jon about the Freefolk because Jon rode with them. He asks Jon about the Northern houses, their alliances, which way they would move in terms of support. 
Stannis is smarter than the likes of Jon Arryn for example, having perceived enough about Janos Slynt to know the guy’s an incompetent snake unfit for office. Stannis’ plans for the Freefolk and the North actually make sense. The Wall is run down, short of men and food. They need help from the 7 Kingdoms.
“And the more we bleed each other, the weaker we shall all be when the real enemy falls upon us.” Jon had come to that same realization.
Your brothers will not like it, no more than your father’s lords, but I mean to allow the wildlings through the Wall . . . those who will swear me their fealty, pledge to keep the king’s peace and the king’s laws, and take the Lord of Light as their god. Even the giants, if those great knees of theirs can bend. I will settle them on the Gift, once I have wrested it away from your new Lord Commander. When the cold winds rise, we shall live or die together. It is time we made alliance against our common foe.” He looked at Jon. “Would you agree?”
[--] “I agree.”
“Good,” King Stannis said, “for the surest way to seal a new alliance is with a marriage. I mean to wed my Lord of Winterfell to this wildling princess.” - Jon, ASoS
Basically Jon agrees with the gist of what Stannis says: Instead of fighting each other, they need to be united against the real enemy. The Wildlings should be let this side of the Wall and integrated into the North and that one way to make alliances between different groups is through marriage.
So both Jon and Stannis have the same goals at this point. The reason Jon succeeds where Stannis is unable to push forward on his goals is that Jon knows the North and the Freefolk, while Stannis does not.
It could very well be that Jon Snow would have accepted Stannis’ offer, married Val and be Lord of Winterfell. However, his demand that Jon burn down the Godswood and convert to the Lord of Light was never going to happen.
When Jon closed his eyes he saw the heart tree, with its pale limbs, red leaves, and solemn face. The weirwood was the heart of Winterfell, Lord Eddard always said . . . but to save the castle Jon would have to tear that heart up by its ancient roots, and feed it to the red woman’s hungry fire god. I have no right, he thought. Winterfell belongs to the old gods.- Jon, ASoS
So right there Stannis has lost his first trump card - a son of Eddard Stark as Lord of Winterfell. Stannis’ religious fanaticism and inflexible adherence to Melisandre and her Lord of Light means he has lost what could have won this war for him easily. Additionally, considering he intended to marry Jon to Val, that alliance is not happening as well.
Perhaps Jon had ridden with the free folk too long; he could not help but laugh. “Your Grace,” he said, “captive or no, if you think you can just give Val to me, I fear you have a deal to learn about wildling women. - Jon, ADwD
He then wants to marry Val off to one of his men - a marriage between the Freefolk and his choice of Lord of Winterfell. Again, Jon explains that his man would have to steal Val in order to wed her - this is what leads to the whole Ser Patrek fiasco. Stannis wants the Freefolk to bend the knee, convert to the Lord of light and fight in his vanguard. The Freefolk can take orders, however, bending the knee is a tough proposition. And if they were forced, how keen would they be to fight for Stannis (As opposed to the overwhelming support Jon got at the end of ADwD).
Stannis’ men are overconfident about beating the Northerners, the terrain and attacking the Dreadfort. Jon Snow explains concisely why attacking the Dreadfort would be the wrong move and instructs Stannis on how to get more men in exchange for the Freefolk. 
So in effect Jon Snow manages to do everything Stannis wanted, but in a more practical way. He prevents the Freefolk from dying in Stannis’ Vanguard  in exchange for information about the Mountain Clans. He then uses Stannis to justify to his men the deal with Tormund to bring more Freefolk this side of the Wall. He brokers an alliance between the North and the Freefolk by marriage between Alys and the Magnar of the Thenns. Unlike Jon Snow, Sigorn has no issues converting to the Lord of Light and there is no necessity to burn down the Winterfell Godswood for this wedding to take place.
In between all this Jon also manages to get a loan from a banker on his way to visit Stannis. And also poached Stannis’ ships for Jon’s personal mission to Hardhome. One almost starts to feel a little sorry for Stannis!
Which is why Jon Snow is going to succeed where Stannis will most probably fail - in defeating the Boltons and winning Winterfell and the North. I still believe that we will get a Battle of Bastards in The Winds of Winter. The set up is there - The Pink Letter, Jon being shanked by his own men, death and resurrection, the last thing Jon wanted to do being to go attack the Boltons and save Arya.
We will have Jon Snow, Rickon Stark, Theon Greyjoy, Davos, the Northern allies like houses Manderly, Glover, Mormont etc. and the Direwolves Ghost and Shaggydog going up against the Boltons and their allies.
Speaking of which: Martin leaves a little note for the producers when writing about Ramsay’s flesh-eating hounds, whom we see hunting down a girl for sport.
[N.B. A note for future reference. A season or two down the line Ramsay’s pack of wolfhounds are going to be sent against the Stark direwolves, so we should build up the dogs as much as possible in this and subsequent episodes] -  GRRM notes while writing season 4 of GOT, Vanity fair article
I suspect the issue of who then becomes Lord of Winterfell/King in the North - Jon Snow or Rickon Stark - will then be decided at very end of TWoW or the start of the last book, A Dream of Spring.
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